“Camille?”

We each laid on our side of the queen bed and stared into the dark nothingness. The windows providing shadow-like silhouettes between the four walls. I whimpered my sister’s name. I had been fighting with myself for 4 months now. Guilt and shame dissolving my conscious. I needed to tell her, to let her know I wasn’t the person she thought I was anymore.

“Yes Mary?” That was all the lead in I needed. I hurried out my story trying to let each word slip by before it burned my tongue, before it registered in my heart. I buried my face in the pillow and let my muffled story escape my heart to my sister’s ears.

                The piercing words never penetrated her heart.

                “you’ve been worried about that all this time? Mary it’s okay, you make mistakes in relationships. That’s how you learn.

                “Then why has it been bothering me so much? I feel terrible, stained.”

                “Honey, you need to let these things go. Part of being forgiven is forgiving yourself.”

                “I’m not sure I can do that.”